Monday, December 24, 2007

Campaign Flavors

This post has decided not to be a rant, and just a frivolous update on something. I was quoted at Alien Corn recently for my opinions on the names of the candidates-a snippet here-

Regarding my disdain for the Huckabee moniker, the Ranting Offspring says that for her, Tancredo is the guy with the greatest name-ickiness factor. "It sounds like some kind of horrible food", she says. We debate what kind of food a Tancredo would be. I think something like Beef Liver Tancredo. She says something more like Refried Tancredo. I suppose Huckabees could be some kind of candy, probably little stale-tasting gummy things that get caught in your teeth.

To be exact, the name 'Tancredo' conjures up a really bad, sleazy-American-diner attempt at Mexican food involving refried beans and nacho cheese out of a can, at least for me.The name 'Huckabee' brings to mind some overly sickly-sweet BBQ sauce for some reason. 'Giuliani' does remind me of some sort of food involving noodles and garlic, but nothing really unappetizing. So far, no other political surnames have caused me to think of nasty food stuffs, but as soon as one does, I'll let either you or the people at Alien Corn know.

Monday, December 17, 2007

You Can't Make Me Wear a Blue Corset

Update on the strange school front after an extended Thanksgiving/early December break thing.

Recently, we were ordered to group up and organize a 'symposium' style speech, on any topic we wanted. I had the option of joining one of two groups...choose one at random...only to learn that the group I hadn't joined was doing a symposium on rare sports, while the group I attached myself to was interested in...Disney princesses. Damn, I think, offering to do something with, if the thing must be Disney, the Lion Kings. But no, my bubbly chair person wants me to do Snow White, and what's more, why don't we all dress up like our characters! Does anyone have an eight-year-old's Snow White costume that might fit runty li'l non-Norwegian Ranting Kid? (Seriously, at 5'3", I'm probably the shortest kid in this symposium group by about 3 inches at minimum) Chairperson is even getting the one male in our group to dress up as Mulan. While I have shot down the whole Disney-costume idea, I still am really, really wondering why a bunch of kids my age would be interested in this topic.

To be a bit passive-aggressive, I decided to bulk up the majority of my speech with the gory details of the original Snow White legend. While researching the original cannibalistic queen, original gory huntsman, and the original pedophile Prince Charming, and while half-listening to my rejected group's discussions on the sport of wife-carrying, I also wondered, "Do these chicks still watch these movies? I mean if they do, then fine, but why are they this into them? Why is there a male in this group? They CANNOT get me into a Snow White costume, I swear. Why are we doing this in school of all places? Not that I endorse challenges in schools but...but...durg. Does no one else find this strange, or at least really undignified? Hey, Google says that the evil Queen ate what she thought were Snow White's lungs with salt! Good fact!"

I'll get back to ranting on, you know, important things soon. Eventually. Really.