Monday, December 24, 2007

Campaign Flavors

This post has decided not to be a rant, and just a frivolous update on something. I was quoted at Alien Corn recently for my opinions on the names of the candidates-a snippet here-

Regarding my disdain for the Huckabee moniker, the Ranting Offspring says that for her, Tancredo is the guy with the greatest name-ickiness factor. "It sounds like some kind of horrible food", she says. We debate what kind of food a Tancredo would be. I think something like Beef Liver Tancredo. She says something more like Refried Tancredo. I suppose Huckabees could be some kind of candy, probably little stale-tasting gummy things that get caught in your teeth.

To be exact, the name 'Tancredo' conjures up a really bad, sleazy-American-diner attempt at Mexican food involving refried beans and nacho cheese out of a can, at least for me.The name 'Huckabee' brings to mind some overly sickly-sweet BBQ sauce for some reason. 'Giuliani' does remind me of some sort of food involving noodles and garlic, but nothing really unappetizing. So far, no other political surnames have caused me to think of nasty food stuffs, but as soon as one does, I'll let either you or the people at Alien Corn know.

Monday, December 17, 2007

You Can't Make Me Wear a Blue Corset

Update on the strange school front after an extended Thanksgiving/early December break thing.

Recently, we were ordered to group up and organize a 'symposium' style speech, on any topic we wanted. I had the option of joining one of two groups...choose one at random...only to learn that the group I hadn't joined was doing a symposium on rare sports, while the group I attached myself to was interested in...Disney princesses. Damn, I think, offering to do something with, if the thing must be Disney, the Lion Kings. But no, my bubbly chair person wants me to do Snow White, and what's more, why don't we all dress up like our characters! Does anyone have an eight-year-old's Snow White costume that might fit runty li'l non-Norwegian Ranting Kid? (Seriously, at 5'3", I'm probably the shortest kid in this symposium group by about 3 inches at minimum) Chairperson is even getting the one male in our group to dress up as Mulan. While I have shot down the whole Disney-costume idea, I still am really, really wondering why a bunch of kids my age would be interested in this topic.

To be a bit passive-aggressive, I decided to bulk up the majority of my speech with the gory details of the original Snow White legend. While researching the original cannibalistic queen, original gory huntsman, and the original pedophile Prince Charming, and while half-listening to my rejected group's discussions on the sport of wife-carrying, I also wondered, "Do these chicks still watch these movies? I mean if they do, then fine, but why are they this into them? Why is there a male in this group? They CANNOT get me into a Snow White costume, I swear. Why are we doing this in school of all places? Not that I endorse challenges in schools but...but...durg. Does no one else find this strange, or at least really undignified? Hey, Google says that the evil Queen ate what she thought were Snow White's lungs with salt! Good fact!"

I'll get back to ranting on, you know, important things soon. Eventually. Really.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

All Hail the Snow Demons

Oooooh boy. This had better be true. Click here to read the weather predictions of yet another blogger, author of Fresh Bilge. For those of you that have no interest in/love for snow, don't bother, but for those of you who are, please note these direct quotes if you don't feel like link-surfing:

"A substantial storm will also pass over the Midwest in the next week", and, "Heavy snow is certain for the interior." Some of that had better get dropped over Iowa.

With the snow will come sledding, purtyness, the inevitable whining of my snow-hating friends, and an intensifying of the already premature holiday spirit beginning to permeate the air. (I mean, come on people, it's November. You're ruining the weeks-away holiday. Stop with the Christmas cheer! Stop!) Also with this will come heightened goofiness by the politically correct, a "winter" break that just happens to be centered around Christmas, and people complaining that the holiday decorations on their neighbor's lawn are oppressing their religious freedom. Here's in angry anticipation of many self-hating people of Christian background bewailing the obvious attempts to convert people to Christianity, and stamp out their other traditions, hidden in those cheesy little lit-up plastic pine trees and the public celebration of a Christian holiday.

In the mean time, let it snow, weather demons, let it snow.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Eminent Domain

A few months ago, a silly eminent domain claim by the city was shot down here in our town. To make a long story short, the city would have bulldozed multiple homes and relocated several unwilling families for a project that would have provided little or no benefits to the city, namely, enlarging a road that wasn't even busy. Of course, the citizens got angry, people protested, and eventually the families were allowed to stay put. The system was working, at least for once.

But, it isn't working so well in other places. This link pretty much covers a recent and ridiculous case of land-grabbing in Colorado. This time, though, the grabbing was not by the government, or for any purpose, but just by some guy with some power who wanted his neighbor's property.

The legal landowners better damn well win that case. This America, people; this stuff is supposed to be prevented by law.

Also of some amusingish interest-- check out the, "Ignorant flippin' out over coin" story on the left side of the page linked to above. Real imaginary.

Friday, November 23, 2007

The Censored Compass

I read Philip Pullman's book, The Golden Compass, along with the other books in the series it belongs to, many years ago. I often wondered when these worthy stories would be put to the silver screen, and, now, here we finally go.

After seeing a trailer for this film, I thought, "Why, people, why must we always blondify our main characters?" Mrs. Coulter, the sadistic mother of the main character of The GC, is often and explicitly described as dark-haired in the book, but of course, her character is being portrayed by freaking platinum Nicole Kidman! Now while you may be wondering why I am flipping out over so minor a detail, I must say that this is not an isolated incidence. It seems that several characters, at least that I have seen, that are supposed to be dark and beautiful originally are being put into the movies blonde and bland. It's just...irritating, ya know?

But far more rant-worthy are the reactions of the producers of the film and some religious groups to the religious themes in the novels (see link). These stories depict the Christian religion as headed by a powerful, controlling, cruel and fanatical group. They also show the denizens of Heaven to be corrupt beings, weaker than humans, that eventually go to war with mankind, while portraying the cast-downs of Hell as a righteous group attempting to overthrow the head angel in Heaven. Still, these are all just stories, pure and simple. When I read these novels, I never felt that they attacked actual Christianity in any way, but that is beside the point. Even if they did, authors, film makers, and the rest of us in the country have the right to say whatever we damn well please. Glossing over these aspects of the plot, as the producers of this movie intend to do, is totally unnecessary and possibly detrimental to the story. As for those out there saying that this movie is promoting 'atheism for kids', or the dislike of God; these books never say that God doesn't exist...although they do portray him as an innocent and powerless entity... or display any 'hatred' for God, but once again, even if they did, sometimes fiction is just fiction, and censorship is still censorship. I know that the author himself has made open statements about how he himself is atheist, and that God will die in his stories, but the books themselves, as I said before, did not project any feeling of hatred toward actual modern day Christianity.

I will add, though, that I doubt these movies will do the books they are based on any justice. I think the stories have too many subtle subplots and concepts. And while the producers may pull it off, I am wondering how they are going to get across the vital concept of daemons in the film. I know most of you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but, hey, if you leave a comment on this, I'm happy to give you a long-winded explanation.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all

Not a rant! Hope everybody out there has a fun and foodful holiday. Well, at least everyone out there I like. With lots of potatoes. And pumpkin pie. I love punkin pie. With tasty gravy. And a big golden turkey!

And for those of you that live in the colder climes, I hope you are sharing my irrational, childish glee at the first snowfall of the season. The Ranting Kid shall spend the day glued to a window, staring at the frozen H2O coming down, hoarding bits of mashed up Yukon Golds and slices of cold pumpkin paste, and getting ordered to polish the good silver by her mother.

Joy and calories to all!


Sunday, November 18, 2007

Bright and Shiny!

As stated in la profile, I am probably one of the few teenage females out there that likes our poor under-appreciated friends, the snakes. While I am sure few will agree with my personal opinion that snakes are cute, you have got to admit that some of them can be frikkin' gorgeous in the pigment department. Couldn't resist slapping up a few snake pictures. Well, links to snake pictures. Check out these brightly colored corn snakes, here, here, and here.

Euro-Bashing Time!

I hope this does not bode ill for America. The country responsible for spawning the U.S., as you may know, banned hand guns a while back, and started prosecuting those who try to defend themselves against armed robbery. (For those of you that have not heard of the Tony Martin case, it deals with a farmer who, after having his house burglarized several times, fired upon the next batch of robbers that turned up, and was sentenced to five years in jail for manslaughter).

And, of course, after the British populous was disarmed and criminal activities became therefore easier to perpetrate and harder to stop, gun-crime rates went up. (Note that while Brits are unarmed and Americans are free to buy guns, gun crime rates in Britain are higher than they are in the U.S.) Some people fail to understand that even when guns are outlawed, the criminal class has no qualms about procuring arms for themselves by illegal means, while your average citizen is left defenseless. The Martin story is rather frightening, especially because it is set in Britain of all places. Since when is it morally wrong for someone whose home has been violated, his possessions stolen, and his life put in danger, to try to defend himself and his house? Some have argued this point with me, saying that a burglar should not be shot if he is merely trying to rob you. I responded with a, "Hell yes, you should be able to shoot robbers," because when someone trying to burglarize you, they probably do not have your best interests at heart. This person will either scamper off or attempt to hurt/kill you when you attempt to save your possessions.

Sigh. Why always with the liberal/general nuttiness policies these days? We need some basic morality over there in Britain. Some common sense. At least the American government hasn't started viewing violent crime in this manner. Yet. Sigh. Or argh. I'm not sure which exasperated noise is appropriate here.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Of Drugs, Bullying, and Things That Flatter Your Waistline

The curriculum for my classes during my final year of middle school was very, very strange. For many, many, MANY years the students in this district can expect to be hammerred with constant and obnoxious information about drugs; in middle school the drug propaganda machine went into overdrive. While I know it is important to be educated about such nasty things, it is NOT necessary to be given the exact same speech about cigarettes and beer several times a month, year after year after year. It is also not necessary to teach that cigarettes and alcohol are pure evil (my homeroom teacher once threatened to give a student sessions with a counselor for saying the word 'drunk'), while avoiding teaching the kiddies about such truly dangerous things as, say, crack, heroin, or meth, a drug which is actually a problem in our area. During this drugs-and-alcohol class we had to attend every other day in the 8th grade, we were also lectured by 'bullying' experts, which we probably the most angrifying of all.

For those of you adults that may have heard of these bullying programs and their aims to to eradicate harassment in schools; every program I have ever encountered was, quite frankly, a very, very large load of offensive stuff. Every speaker that came in to lecture us on the topic had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

Firstly, these people's idea of 'bullying' was the student's idea of normal human interaction, a.k.a. having one's own friends and speaking to people that one knew at least a slight bit. They didn't seem to realize that most people do not enjoy being forced to socialize with people that do not know them; they didn't seem to understand that most children have a certain group of other young humans they tend to hang about with. The fact that people will mutually have no interest in one another because they have never met seemed to confuse said lecturers. If the children had particular friends, this must mean they were inhuman and cruel to the other students that did not socialize with them, and obviously had no regard for the feelings of others--social engineering must be put into place at once. We had two or three "Bring Down The Walls" days forced upon us a year at my middle school. During this silly thing, one was ordered to sit amongst people that one did not know during lunch. (Of course, none or very few of the students complied).

Secondly, these 'bullying' bureaucrats did not punish actual bullying when it occurred. By actual bullying, I mean, for example, someone coming up to you and beating you up for your lunch money, ambushing you when you arrived at school in the mornings, or something along those lines. ACTUAL bullying. When ever such things occurred, their advice to us was to sit there while being beaten up and wait quietly for a teacher to come and assist, or to politely ask your assailant to stop hammering upon you. Under no circumstances should you, say, defend yourself, or anything like that. I did come across a few situations like this during my time in the lower grades. The person being attacked (an innocent party) generally did something to fight back, and pretty much always got punished more severely than their assailant. Why? Sure, the other person started it an all, and you were only defending yourself, but what did we teach you? Ask nicely, wait for the teacher. YOU should have known better.

AND, to top this all off, we had another class, one you have probably heard of, "Family and Consumer Sciences"(FCS) foisted upon us. This class did teach some useful skills, like sewing, basic kitchen skills, etc, but also had some of the most ridiculous units I have ever seen in a curriculum. My class spent about two weeks researching what kind of clothes we should wear. What body type we had. What clothes looked good on us. W.T.F?!?!

While I must add that my high school doesn't seem so dang ridiculous, I must ask the older population out there: Did middle school affairs used to be this bad?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

It Made Us Sound All Good And Stuff

After deciding to come back to the topic of anti-Americanism, I decided to dredge up this li'l anecdote to show the hell-in-a-handbasket-ness of the situation. This particular story took place about a month ago in the midst of a history lesson at my high school.

When one is enrolled in an honors class, one is not hammered by the constant teaching of the American Revolution, the American Civil War, and JIM CROW JIM CROW JIM CROW and MORE JIM CROW year after year, but is taught some of the history of the rest of the world. While tracking Japan's progress to the modern day, we were asked to write up some summaries in a small group of certain parts of Japan's experience in the second World War. One kid in my group seemed a bit baffled after reading about Japan's reconstruction.

"It makes it sound like Japan did evil things," he stated simply.

"They did all the things listed in there," I replied, referring to the textbook.

"Yeah but...but it makes the Americans sound all good and stuff,"

"Well... do you think the book's lying, or something?" I answered.

"I bet it's not telling the whole story,"

"What more did you expect?" I said.

"Well, we... we must have done something wrong," The kid didn't even know about the bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, it seemed.

But of course, America must have done something wrong, just as my classmate stated, because America is the most evil country in the world, of course, and would never do anything all good and stuff. Even if there is there is no reason for us to believe America has done something wrong, either because of our ignorance or because there truly is no reason, we must always remain watchful for any misstep of this horrible superpower. Don't the democratic, peace-loving countries of the Middle East call the U.S., "the Great Satan"? And they are of course morally superior. Even if we went in and helped rebuild a country we defeated after peace was declared after WW II, a war which we entered because of a massacre of our people by said defeated country, all wrong doing by the enemy must be over looked because they were fighting America, and America must be bashed at all costs.

As an American myself, I would still say I would rather live here than in any other place on the world, first and foremost because it is free and democratic. I would chose this place over all other Western democratic countries as well because A) while PC corruption may be rampant here, it is far worse in other places, and B) because here, I'm still allowed my gun. Not that I own one.

Some anti-Americanism is just plain irrational, as I found when I took in this video of Avi Lewis interviewing Ayaan Hirsi Ali*. Interesting how the person who was defending America was the one who actually lived there, and the America-basher may never have set foot there in his life, for all I know. He also said some things that I found just a bit nutty. "A place where evangelical Christianity has ascended to the highest ranks of power"? Sure, buddy. I find it hard to believe that all the attempts to erase any reference to Christian religion and Christian holidays in America are the work of our hidden theocratic government.

Of course, America has done plenty it should not be proud of; I am in no way saying that all criticism of the U.S. is unfounded. I have no problem with America-bashing if said bashing is logical. But, I also hate the attitude that America is the only country in the world that commits wrong-doings. As I said to my classmate later on in our argument over post-war Japan: Everybody is a jerk. Practically every country or group of people on the planet has done something awful to another country or group of people. America in no way spearheaded this trend; the human race did.

*A bit off topic, but I must say that I really admire Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Not only is she incredibly brave, she's also good and logical, as you saw from the video clip. She also deals with the illogical very calmly and patiently, something which I am not the best at doing.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Random Polygamy Post, With a Side of Gay Rights

After deciding to rant on the subject of (unfounded, irrational) anti-Americanism, I started poking around the Economist's (a British newspaper) blog, "Democracy in America', looking for some angrifying tidbit or other, but actually stumbling across a post that made me angrier at Americans than at any anti-Americans. These poll results didn't exactly thrill me on whole. The statics concerning homosexuality and polygamy stuck out especially. And the evolution/creationism stuff...maybe a later rant? (Note to British Blogger; that sort of stuff doesn't just 'stop the European types in their tracks', it gets some Americans pretty damn riled up as well).

Listen, people, when we stop seeing the disadvantages of things like polygamy, we prove some of the old 'world's going to hell in a handbasket' fogies right. No one out there wants that, I hope. People argue that polygamy is morally all right if it only involves consenting adults; they argue that if gay people are getting their marriage rights, the polygamists should get theirs. Even with the basic moral issues of one guy married to multiple females put aside, polygamy really isn't even on the same plane as gay marriage. When polygamist societies arise, marriages involving under-age girls and unwilling parties pretty much always begin taking place. In polygamist societies, women will gravitate to, or be forcibly married to, the men with wealth and power, since a married man with money would no longer be a taken man. This leaves the poorer classes of males partnerless. When the poor young men of a society have nothing to do/no one to take care of/no mate to keep an eye on them, it usually results in higher violent crime rates for the community they belong to. If the secret polygamist societies in Utah are anything to go by, it could even result in the younger males being driven out by the older, more powerful men looking to keep all the women to themselves.

No doubt pro-polygamy parties will say that in their own vision of the ideal society, such forced marriages and other problems involving wealth and power could be dealt with by with regular old marriages, it is illegal to force some one (especially an underaged someone) to marry you, or run their fiance out of town. Even so, doesn't polygamy seem to be a sexist system to anyone else out there? The word 'polygamy' implies one man married to many women; not one woman married to multiple men. The polygamist principle sees the female as something to be acquired, or bought, and even accumulated, regardless of the female's wishes (at least in traditional polygamist systems). And, while I know people are free to marry as they chose, as they should, women could still gravitate towards the upper class and therefore cause trouble in the lower and middle classes, if said society were polygamist.

As for the results of the poll concerning homosexuality: The people polled may genuinely think that being gay is morally wrong for their own secular reasons. But, in the Ranting Kid's experience, she has found that many people will point to the fact that the Bible denounces homosexuality as their main argument against it. The Ranting Kid is also so very damn sick and tired of people covering their ears and sticking their heads in the religious sand when confronted with a secular matter of people's rights. As for those polled that think being gay should be considered a crime, I simply can't think of anything good to say to those sorts. As far as I can tell, most scientific evidence shows us that homosexuality is probably caused (for the most part) by hormone goof-ups in the mother's womb while the baby is gestating.

Definitely criminal behavior, that hormone messing-upping. But who should be punished for it, mother or baby? It must be somebody's fault, but whose?

Thursday, November 1, 2007

1984; the 2007 Version

Holy *#&%#@.
I can't believe this is happening in the U.S. of A. Although I have read the program explained in the article is no longer mandatory, the thought of this leaking out of the 60's from behind the Iron Curtain and into a modern democratic country still makes the Ranting Kid feel ever so slightly angry with rage. You normal people get that sometimes, right?

But seriously, who let this program get off the ground instead of being laughed off the drawing board?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I never really did like the policies of presidential hopeful Barack Obama, but now he has completely lost my hypothetical vote. Click here to see Obama's statements on the Jena 6 case. My response to this?

"What? How DARE he insult Rosa Parks like that!"

Monday, October 29, 2007

The Good, The Bad, and the Preggers

When my rents first dragged me out into the rural wilds of the Midwest, they did so partially because Iowa is famous for its good schools, and is generally considered to be one of the safer places in the country. For the first few years I was stuck here, Iowa did indeed uphold its stereotype; quiet, religious, and uneventful, if perhaps a bit sleazier than my Oregon hometown. It seems, though, that in the last few months our town has decided suddenly to drop the nice-clean-rural image.

During the summer two murders took place, and a few car robberies on our street this fall, but the bulk of the trouble seems to be coming from my high school. Since the beginning of this school year, several fights between students have taken place (during one of which a teacher was trampled), one student was arrested for attacking a teacher outright, and another was busted for selling meth within the school. The strange thing is that apparently none of the boys in my school are participating in any of this lawlessness; fist fights and drug dealing are handled by the ladies in this town, it seems. On top of all this, the number of teen pregnancies in town have suddenly spiked. There are at least two girls in my school that have already had children, and (I think) three or four girls that are presently pregnant. That may sound like a small number to some, but for this old fashioned place, the number is almost shocking. Plus, only a year ago, it seemed that no one our age was pregnant, and that for such a thing to happen was extremely rare. I witnessed the end of one of the recent scuffles, while the two scufflers were being dragged away. One was screaming at the other girl, "Whore! If you weren't pregnant I'd kick you in the stomach!" Ironically, the insult-thrower was, in fact, pregnant herself.

A friend of mine blames the influx of new kids from Chicago for the recent uprisings and baby-havings. Why this exodus from a city so much more....modern than our small, corn-choked town? Some blame the influx of illegal aliens and the gangs they bring with them into the big cities, claiming that said gangs start driving out the decent folk and the native gangsters, thus dumping new city kids of looser morals on this hickish little place. Instead of researching the truth value of this particular statement, I've decided this post on moral decay will be the lead-in to another, much longer-winded post on immigration, specifically illegal immigration from Mexico. To make this long, uncoming post short: The Ranting Kid is for controlled immigration. And not because of racial issues, ya hear, but because of LOGICAL reasoning. LOGIC, DAMN IT!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Jena 6

Most of you out there have probably heard of the Jena 6 by now. For those of you who haven't, the popular story the media is putting out about the Jena case goes something like this: After a black student in Jena, Louisiana, sat underneath a tree on his school grounds that white kids usually sat under, nooses were found hanging from that very tree the next day (This was in August of 2006) The (white) students responsible were only suspended briefly. Racial tensions flared in the small town, which was described as 'highly segregated' (by some reports I have read). In December of that year, six black students barricaded a school exit as they lay in wait for one Justin Barker, a white student. I have not found any explanation for why, exactly, he was attacked. Barker was knocked unconscious and beaten as he lay on the ground. The upshot of all this was a charge of attempted second degree murder for Barker's assailants. (Please note that this is an abbreviated version of a more complicated story)
This whole thing has now spawned a huge outcry, more than a year after those nooses were hung from that tree in Jena. The fact that the white noose-hangers were given such light punishment, the 'racist' locals, the heavy jail sentences for the black assailants, and the fact that they were tried by an all-white jury, has, for some, shone a spotlight on America's 'horrible race issues'.
Unfortunately, the story ain't really true. This article also sheds some light on the harsh sentencing in the Jena 6 case. (I would advise that you read these articles before condemning me as a racist bleep once you read the following).

Here we go. The pandering, the PC, and the anti-white are at it again. The more I look into this subject, the more it seems that all those people out there condemning the 'racist' authorities in Jena have only heard what the media has been telling them, and the media is really starting to make me sick. 'All-white jury'? Only because the black jury members never showed. The "Whites Only" tree? May not have been a 'white' hang out in any sense whatsoever. Yes, I know I only have two sites listed as evidence, but do some research on this topic yourself, and see what you turn up.
But what truly disturbs me is not the twisted story the reporters of this incident have put out, but what the average person online has to say about this case. A few minutes on Youtube provided many opinions from the ignorant, the scarily ignorant, and the disgustingly racist. Comments ranged from, "It's a black man's right to beat a white man" to "HANG THE N*GGERS!" One commenter even used the Duke rape case as evidence that race issues in the U.S were getting worse and worse.
The fact that Mychal Bell, the most famous of the Jena 6, was tried as an adult for the attempted murder of Barker does bother me, though. Barker was beaten, yes, but was well enough to attend a function the night after the attack took place. There is no evidence that Bell and the other five attackers were trying to kill Barker. The 17- year- old Bell was at one point facing up to 22 years in prison for attempted murder (The charges have since been reduced). Granted, he did have a past record of violent crime, but the original sentence certainly was harsh, and the bail definitely was steep.
It certainly is a mess down in Jena, but as it was with the Duke University case, some people out there seem absolutely delighted when it looks as if a white guy out there has done something racist, or if America itself is shown to be a place that is still oppressing its minorities. This growing anti-white trend often makes the Ranting Kid go red in the face and start raving about how no one can make any logical statements opposing such things as open borders or affirmative action with out being accused of being a racist....but, those are other rants.

"Happy" Halloween: What Is It With This Town?

Before jumping into the bigger issues I promised to cover in the last post, I first must rant about a subject closer to home. It's getting cold here in the Midwest; leaves are falling, pumpkins are grinning, and the candy is selling as we get ready for Halloween. Kids across the nation are looking forward to scampering about for hours after dark on the 31st of this month...but not in our particular Iowan small town.
Here, we do not celebrate Halloween, but instead uphold a bizarre tradition called "Beggar's Night". Beggar's night is the designated trick-or-treating night here, in a place where trick-or-treating cannot, and will not, take place on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays or Wednesdays, and also has a curfew beginning at 7:30 pm, before it even really gets dark out. I don't know exactly what happens if you get caught trick-or-treating after 7:30, but I've never seen anyone here try to stay out later that 7:20. When I ask the locals why Halloween festivities are so darn restricted, they tell me that trick-or-treating is not allowed on Wednesdays or Sundays because said days are religious, (Wednesday? Really? Why?)* and that, if children dared venture out on a Friday or Saturday, they would immediately be set upon by packs of homicidal college students, even though, during the rest of the week, the college kids seem pretty docile, and the children would be well away from the in the suburbs. As for the curfew? No one can say. You are free to stay out late on Beggar's night, so long as no one is slipping you candy.
This place has an extremely low crime rate, so I can't figure out what exactly is going on here. Killjoys on the city council? Bizarre religious traditions? Fear of witchcraft? If anyone out there has any explanation for Beggar's night and its weird customs, please enlighten me. Because this whole this is actually starting the get me really irritated. WHY? WHY?!?!

*And yes, Iowans, at least in our town, attend church on Wednesdays.

The Spawn Is Posting

For those of you that have heard of that little blog out there in cyber space, Alien Corn ... well, the seldom-mentioned 'daughter' of the authors has decided to start posting for herself. This opinionated spawn of a Florida cracker and a mid- Atlantic WASP will be ranting on such topics as immigration, what's wrong with today's schools, abortion, religion, racism and sexism, the mess abroad and the mess at home, etc, in an attempt to prove that there are some American teenagers out there with the vocab and the common sense to make a decent argument without resorting to propaganda and the abusing of our precious few swear words, damn it.